Posted by: CJ | March 5, 2011

Emotion Regulation

I’ve been having a difficult time regulating my emotions lately. It would be easier if I was exercising regularly, but I can’t fit it into my schedule, usually. Or, rather, I’m already sleep deprived and feeling overworked, so I don’t know where I could fit it in.

This is, perhaps, a sign that my time management skills also need some work. I’m rarely early for things, but I’m rarely very late either. But I’ve been feeling more frazzled lately than usual.

My grandparents are usually worried about whether I’m eating ok, because I’ve made mistakes about that in the past. But that’s honestly a non-issue for me right now. My palate has become much more expansive in it’s tastes, and I’m far more willing to say, “Yes, this snack is priced at highway robbery levels, but without it I’ll be a mess and make a fool of myself.” Exercise, sleep, effective time management, and getting stuff done as soon as possible are the bigger keys to my daily and weekly quality of life.

In any case, the issues with emotion regulation have reminded me of when I was young and some of my earliest issues and attempts to cope. Tantrums, depressions, despondency, and such were frequent. Occasionally the norm. And that was even from the beginning of elementary school and continuing through middle school.

During that time I tended to wish I was more like Spock, the Star Trek character. Able to control and surpress my own emotions. For the first time in awhile, I find myself seriously wishing I could do that. My emotions are getting in the way without adding much right now. The little anxieties, let downs, successes, and nervousness are distracting and exhausting, and ultimately change nothing about what I need to do on a daily basis.

If only I could just regift my emotions to someone else. Or lease them out to people who use guilty feelings. The Catholic Church, perhaps.



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