Posted by: CJ | August 7, 2010

Three vs. Two and None

I was speaking to a rather interesting character a few days ago. He had some interesting thoughts–I hesitate to call them insights–about males vs. females. At least stereotypically.

He said that there are exactly three things a woman wants to feel good about herself. She wants to feel beautiful, she wants to feel loved, and she wants to feel intelligent. And that’s basically it.

By contrast, he said men don’t know what they want to feel good about themselves. No general rules. But, if you want to get men to do something you have two options: make it a competition with other men (i.e. people they’ll feel a need to compete against) or pay them.

I’m still mulling his comments over. They have an elegant simplicity to them, even though they’re hopelessly over-generalized and, at best, borderline sexist.



  1. hmmmmmm, but if taken from an anthropological/evolutionary point of view. If man was the hunter and woman the gatherer in most tribal societies then this could carry through as a meme of man=paycheck and woman= caregiver. …But i think it is a vast over generalization too.

  2. Note: HE thought men were vastly more complex than women, not knowing what they need. However, women are a simple formula. Dang, and I thought Mary, Ginger and Mrs. Howell were all very different.

    I won’t argue the wanting to feel loved; Maslow said it applies to everyone, though, and I don’t have any reason to beleive he’s wrong. The beautiful, there are degrees and definitions there that HE may be missing,fyi. Of course I like thinking I’m not Bertha the Dog-faced Girl, but is it a prime motivation of all females? If so, explain my wardrobe. And smart, hell yes–for me. But for all the sisterhood? Not so sure.

    But maybe I’m just not complex enough to understand :p

  3. Like I said, this guy wasn’t particularly shy about staking out an opinion on gender. He based his opinion partially on some surveying he’d done in his line of work. But I’ve no doubt that it was liberally sprinkled with his own interpretations.

    He also wasn’t really taking the line that men were more complex than women. His message was more that men were enough less emotionally developed that they didn’t know what they wanted to give them happiness. They did, however, know how to get greedy and territorial.

    His imagery while talking about this suggested a generic vision of a caveman and a Southern Belle hitting it off. Few things like a simple-minded but self-actualization-impaired caveman to make a woman feel beautiful, intelligent, and wanted.

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