Posted by: CJ | July 25, 2010

Things I wish I did better

A few social things I wish I did better, and would like to work on.

  • Asking for help without feeling self-conscious about it. I usually feel self-conscious about it anytime I ask for help and it sorta matters.
  • Asking for help other than when I’m sure the answer is “yes”. I have a hard time accepting that it’s ok, as in not rude to either party, to ask people for help and be turned down.
  • Taking constructive criticism well.
  • Not dithering when I’ve already made up my mind. Many times, if I have to make a choice and I don’t like the options, I’ll dither even once I know what I’ll choose. At least, if I had to that moment. I dither because I really, really hate trying to make the best of bad options. I won’t willingly do it until I believe deep down that there are no other viable possibilities.
  • Be able to make the first move in friendships and relationships. I’m usually deathly scared of screwing something up if I try to change anything. I rarely, if ever, make the first move to change a dynamic in a relationship. (This relates to the dithering.) This includes, amongst other things, initiating contact for a friendship or opening myself up to see if someone wants to become better friends. I meet people and find friends, but I usually rely on circumstances or institutions combined with time. Then I don’t have to work too hard to go from not knowing someone to being an acquaintance.
  • Knowing how to take a compliment. Currently I’m either overly self-deprecating or intensely curious how good I really am at whatever I’m being complimented for. Either response is rather off-putting to the complimenter.


  1. Your willingness to think about these things and open up about what you’re thinking is honestly inspiring.

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