Posted by: CJ | May 5, 2009


Saw the new Wolverine movie over the weekend. It was exactly what I expected, more or less: 100 minutes of nearly non-stop action and visuals, punctuated by hairy manly men growling at each other. All the charm of playing a video game with none of the work.

I’ll put my comments below the fold. There’s nothing even approaching a spoiler if you know anything about Wolverine lore in the X-men, but better to give people the choice.

I only have two major comments. The first is that at the end Wolverine loses his memory by being shot in the head multiple times at point blank range. Wolverine’s healing powers are such that being shot multiple times in the head just stuns him, essentially. Sorta knocks me out for a few minutes. But I started wondering why the healing factor wouldn’t heal the memories too? I mean, while I’m not a big believer in biology determining psychology or actions, I easily believe that the physical structure of the brain should contain the encoded memories. So I’m confused how Wolverine would lose them from being shot. My only thought is that somehow his brain doesn’t have an auto-save feature. At which point I realized there are many features of a good word-processor that I think humans should have. A sampling:

  • auto-save
  • spell check
  • clickable hypertext
  • syntax highlighting
  • clipart
  • ability to convert to a .pdf
  • ability to be emailed

I’ll leave it to the reader to interpret exactly how these things should be implimented.

My second major thought was based on the comment of someone as I walked out of the movie. A girl, talking to her boyfriend, asked, “So I don’t get it. Was Sabertooth good or evil?” Now in the course of the movie Sabertooth works with some bad people and kills some clearly innocent people. But he also works hard at a few points to make sure Wolverine doesn’t die because they’re brothers. But I get worried when people have difficulties understanding even that very tiny amount of moral abiguity. Is modern story-telling in America so bad that people have difficulties understanding it if there are more than two sides, guys and bad guys? That clearly has bad, bad implications for our political and societal discussions about Important Issues.

So going to see a summer action flick has left me worried about storytelling and the state of political dialogue in America. I obviously have issues.


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